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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169543">This Is Who I Am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissfizz/pseuds/pissfizz'>pissfizz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Dumb Metaphors, Gen, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Yamaguchi Tadashi, Other, Trans Yamaguchi, Tsukki is a bit ooc at points but whatever, Yamaguchi being awkward for 3071 words, aka: the author aggressively kinning Yamaguchi, anyway, that last tag was an accident I hit enter too early but it's funny so I'm keeping it, the tit, the title is stupid so just ignore it, tsukishima is whiPPED</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:42:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissfizz/pseuds/pissfizz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi tells everyone who they really are slowly but surely.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yamaguchi Tadashi &amp; Karasuno Volleyball Club, Yamaguchi Tadashi &amp; Takeda Ittetsu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This Is Who I Am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yamaguchi's hands were shaking. Now, that wasn't exactly unusual, as he did get cold rather easily, and was known for his infamous anxiety, but right now it was warm in Tsukishima's room, and as far as he knew, Yamaguchi had nothing to trigger his anxiety. Tsukishima didn't mention it however, instead waiting for his boyfriend to speak up. He always did. <br/>"Ts-Tsukki?" Yamaguchi muttered after a few minutes. <br/>"Hm." <br/>"Would you— do you like people that aren't, like, boys?" Yamaguchi blushed, avoiding eye contact. <br/>"I'm gay, Yamaguchi. You knew that. And I'm dating you anyway, so why would it even matter?" Tsukishima rolled his eyes. <br/>"R-right." Yamaguchi said, before going silent once more. A minute later, he spoke up again. <br/>"Tsukki?"<br/>"What is it?" <br/>"What-what would it take for you to break up with me?" Yamaguchi mumbled. <br/>"What?!" Tsukishima exclaimed, turning to look at the freckled teen with fear in his gaze. <br/>"W-wait! That's not what I meant! I didn't- I don't want to break up with you, I promise!" The greenette attempted to reassure the panicked blond. <br/>"Good." Tsukishima relaxed slightly, "And I don't know. Probably something like...I don't know, cheating? Something like that. But I know you'd never do that, so it doesn't matter. Why would you even ask that?"<br/>"So, say I was...actually a bit different from what you thought I was... would you still like me if you found out who I really am? Hypothetically, o-of course." <br/>"What could you possibly be hiding about yourself that I don't know already? And what makes you think I would hate you for it? Hypothetically." <br/>"S-so, hypothetically, say I'm human, r-right?"<br/>"Where are you going with this?" <br/>"So you know I'm a human, right?" Yamaguchi repeated. <br/>"Yeah, yeah." Tsukishima sighed, nodding as he reached over and started fiddling with a lock of Yamaguchi's hair. It was getting long. <br/>"W-well, what if I wasn't a human? I was actually a-a...an alien! And if I told you...would you still love me? Or- or would you be mad I hid it from you?"<br/>"Well, if you are an alien, you're by far the cutest alien I've ever seen. I don't think even you being a different species would make me stop loving you." The corners of Tsukishima's mouth turned up in a small half smile as he then moved so that he was sitting on Yamaguchi's lap, his long legs straddling Yamaguchi's thighs. He bent down and kissed Yamaguchi's nose, his fingers still gently twirling the lock of hair. Yamaguchi's face burned red. <br/>"But this is all hypothetical, of course?" Tsukishima smirked. Yamaguchi averted his eyes, looking down at the carpet they were sitting on. <br/>"W-well, kind of. I'm not an alien, b-but..." his words faded out, getting quieter with each syllable until Tsukishima could no longer hear it. <br/>"Jesus, spit it out, Yamaguchi." Tsukishima leaned back, slightly exasperated. Yamaguchi took a deep breath, his chest swelling with air. <br/>"I-I'm not a boy, Tsukki!" As soon as the words left Yamaguchi's mouth, his face began to burn red. His? Hers? Theirs? Tsukishima wasn't sure anymore. <br/>"Are you a girl then?" <br/>"Wh-what? You're not going to get mad?"<br/>"I'm not some kind of asshole, Yamaguchi. Well. Not that type of asshole. You know what I mean. So are you a girl?"<br/>"N-no. I'm not really sure what I'd be called, to be honest... I'm just kind of me, y'know?" Yamaguchi blushed, still not meeting Tsukishima's eyes. <br/>"And your pronouns?" <br/>"Th-they and them, p-please."<br/>"Hey. Look at me." Tsukishima turned their face, forcing them to look up at him. "You didn't really think I'd break up with you for this, did you?" Yamaguchi's eyes widened. <br/>"I-I didn't mean to offend you! I just— you said it yourself. You're gay, you only like guys, so if I'm not a guy...would you still like me?" <br/>"If I'm being honest, it doesn't matter to me what gender you are. I love <em>you</em>, Yamaguchi. And I'm not going to let something like your gender make me stop. As long as you're you...that's enough for me." <br/>"Ts-Tsukki—" tears welled up in Yamaguchi's eyes, flooding over and trickling down freckled cheeks. They flung themself forward, wrapping their arms around Tsukishima. "<em>Thank you.</em>" <br/>"H-hey! You're gonna get snot all over me!" Tsukishima pushed the teary Yamaguchi off of his chest. They giggled, used to this side of him. <br/>"Sorry, Tsukki!" <br/>"Now, we should probably get back to doing our homework if we want to get it done by tomorrow." Tsukishima sighed, kissing Yamaguchi's nose one last time before swinging his leg back over them and taking his prior seat on Yamaguchi's right. <br/>"Thanks, Tsukki..."</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From that point on, Tsukishima supported Yamaguchi's transition fullsend. He always used the correct pronouns, only slipping up once in the beginning, and even secretly doing research late at night. <br/>Akiteru had borrowed his laptop one day, and had accidentally closed the wrong tab, so he opened his history to reopen it. He had expected to see the usual stuff in there— dinosaur fact pages, homework questions, maybe even porn or something. What he was <em>not </em>expecting, was to see dozens of pages on gender dysphoria and nonbinary identities and tips on supporting a friends transition. His heart was warmed at the sight—because although he hadn't been informed of Yamaguchi's identity, seeing his little brother care so much about someone to do such extensive research was rare and admittedly a bit cute. <br/>But Tsukishima's thorough support did strike up a few issues. Yamaguchi had made him promise to intentionally misgender them during class and around teachers and their parents, but they had said they felt comfortable enough with the team that he could use their correct pronouns. And boy, did he make a point of using them. <br/>"Hey, Tsukishima! Where's Yamaguchi? Is he out sick today? I was hoping he could help me with my serve some more." Kinoshita asked one day before practice started. <br/>"Yes, <em>they </em>are out sick today. I'm afraid <em>they </em>can't help you, go find someone else." <br/>"Alright, chill." Kinoshita said, before turning and making his way over to where Narita was waiting. Tsukishima's aggressive use of 'they' didn't go unnoticed, but no one made a comment. <br/>That wasn't the only time this happened though. <br/>"Yamaguchi's hair sure is getting long isn't it?" Sugawara said as he took a drink of water, looking out at the court where the aforementioned teen was practicing. Their hair was already reaching down to just past the middle of their neck, their bangs getting in their eyes as they moved. "Asahi might just have to lend him a hairband, he'll never be able to receive if he can't see." <br/>"People are gonna start thinking he's a girl or something, I bet, with how long it's getting. He's not super macho-man like Asahi is." Nishinoya chuckled. <br/>"<em>Their </em>hair looks fine. Who cares if <em>they </em>look like a girl. And Suga-san, I'll be sure that <em>they </em>get some hair ties or something." Tsukishima put in. <br/>"Thanks, Tsukishima! We want to have our pinch server at his best!" Suga smiled. Nishinoya opened his mouth to say something, but Suga rammed his elbow into his side before he could utter a word. <br/>It also wasn't unnoticed that Yamaguchi had begun using a more feminine vocabulary. While it wasn't uncommon for men to use more feminine words, it was certainly noticeable and seemingly a bit random. They had switched from the usually masculine 'ore' to the more feminine or androgynous 'watashi' seemingly without reason, making people around them confused. Plenty of men used watashi, but it wasn't exactly common to suddenly change your vocabulary around like this. <br/>And yet, no one brought it up. A few teammates had already caught on, but stayed quiet, waiting until Yamaguchi was ready to tell them on their own. A few of the denser teammates, however, didn't notice, and if they did, were tactless in the way they went about doing things. Hinata and Nishinoya kept trying to ask why Tsukishima was so aggressively using 'they', but every time without fail, Sugawara would be there to make them shut up. <br/>Yamaguchi however, was nowhere near ready to blatantly reveal their identity to the team, and repeatedly asked Tsukki to quit being so aggressive. Tsukishima would listen, but ultimately end up forgetting and go back to his old ways. <br/>And then one day Takeda pulled Yamaguchi to the side, asking to speak with them privately. Yamaguchi's heart dropped, their mind racing with what could've happened, what they could've done wrong. Were they getting kicked off the team? Did they do something bad? Were they in trouble?<br/>"Hey, you don't need to worry, Yamaguchi-kun. You're not in trouble, I promise." Takeda reassured them, noticing the panic on their face. <br/>"S-sorry, Sensei." <br/>"So, Yamaguchi-kun, I've been noticing some things recently, and was wondering if I could ask you about them?" <br/>"Y-yes, sir?"<br/>"I'm mostly concerned about...to put it simply I'm curious about your pronouns. Recently I've noticed Tsukishima-kun using different ones when referring to you, and I've noticed your change in vocabulary, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't using the wrong ones. I don't want to make you uncomfortable at all by using the wrong pronouns, if you don't mind me asking!" <br/>"You're- you're asking for my pronouns?" Yamaguchi breathed. <br/>"Yes, admittedly I probably should've done this near the beginning of the year, but it's better late than never, right?" Takeda chuckled. Yamaguchi stayed quiet. "Yamaguchi-kun? Are you alright?" Suddenly Yamaguchi had their arms wrapped around him, tears threatening to spill over. <br/>"Th-thank you, Sensei. This- this really means a lot." They sniffled, trying to make sure no tears were set free. <br/>"O-of course! You're my student, I want to make sure you're as comfortable as possible!" Takeda exclaimed. Yamaguchi pulled away from the hug, drying their eyes with their wrist. <br/>"I-in that case, I use, um, they and them. Thank you, Sensei." Yamaguchi bowed gratefully. <br/>"Thank you for telling me, Yamaguchi-kun. Ah! Do you not want to be called that anymore? I'm more than okay with switching!" <br/>"Um, I don't mind it that much, but if you decide to switch I'd be fine with it." <br/>"Thank you for informing me! If you need help telling the rest of the team of your teachers, don't hesitate to ask me! Now let's head back in for practice!" Yamaguchi trailed after Takeda, their chest filled with warmth. They had a teacher on their side. <br/>__________</p>
<p>Not too long after this incident, Yamaguchi decided they wanted to tell the team. They were at a loss for how, though, and absolutely petrified of actually doing it. They knew that everyone would be supportive, or at the very least a bit confused, but no one would be unaccepting or rude. Despite this, fear still gnawed at their heart. With no other answer, Yamaguchi made their way to Tsukishima. <br/>"Tsukki?" <br/>"Mm." <br/>"I-I want to tell the team." This caught the blond's attention, his eyes turning away from his book and towards Yamaguchi. <br/>"That so?" <br/>"Y-yeah. But I'm scared, Tsukki, I don't know how I'd even start." Yamaguchi buried their face in their hands. <br/>"Well, everyone's surely noticed by now our changes in vocabulary, just build off of that or something." Tsukishima shrugged. <br/>"But what if they don't know what I mean? Wh-what if I get kicked off the team because I'm not a boy? What if someone is mad?" <br/>"Hey, calm down. No one would get mad, and if you need to explain it, I'll be there to help you, okay? And you won't get kicked off the team, when you told Takeda-sensei he didn't try and kick you off, now did he? And he's the one in charge, so I highly doubt anyone else would try." <br/>"Y-you really think so? You're willing to help me?" Yamaguchi pulled their face up from out of their hands, looking at Tsukki with big watery eyes. Tsukishima was momentarily taken aback by his partner's expression, the cuteness shooting an arrow straight into his heart. He quickly regained himself though, and nodded in response to Yamaguchi's question. </p>
<p>"Yeah, I will. When were you thinking about doing it?"</p>
<p>"I'm not sure...I feel like if I don't do it soon I'll chicken out, but it's so scary..." </p>
<p>"I'll be there to help you, you don't need to be worried. If anyone says anything bad I'll make them regret it, I promise, you got it?" Tsukishima reassured them. They leaned forward, planting their lips on his, catching him completely off guard. Before he has a chance to lean into it, Yamaguchi pulls back with a smile. </p>
<p>"Thank you so much, Tsukki! You're the best!" they grin. "You're right! I just need to tell them! Be upfront about it!" A new fire burned in their eyes, their hazel irises alight with determination. Tsukishima almost got lost staring into them right then and there, but was shaken out of it by Yamaguchi shooting to their feet. </p>
<p>"What are you doing?" Tsukishima asked, worried that they planned on leaving.</p>
<p>"I'm thirsty from crying. I'll be right back!" Yamaguchi says, before leaving Tsukishima's bedroom. Tsukishima ignored the fact that they had barely cried enough for it to be considered more than just their eyes watering, instead just shaking his head as he thought fondly of his partner. Contrary to popular belief, Tsukishima is a big fricking sap that's absolutely whipped for Yamaguchi. </p>
<p>And he would help them through anything that came their way. </p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p>Yamaguchi didn't want to walk into the gym. They knew that Takeda had asked for a team meeting before practice, for obvious reasons. They didn't want to go in, they couldn't do this--</p>
<p>"Yamaguchi. Don't be a wimp. You said you'd do this." Tsukishima said from next to them. They jumped, having forgotten he was there in the midst of their panic. They gave a shaky nod, before grabbing his hand and taking the step to open the gym doors. </p>
<p>They took their spot in front of the team, clinging tightly to Tsukishima's arm as they trembled. Their friends watched with curious expressions, some slightly concerned. Yamaguchi avoided eye contact with all of them, instead opting to stare down at a very interesting ant crawling across the hardwood floor. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi didn't say anything for a minute, until Tsukishima gently elbowed them in the ribs, bringing their attention to the increasingly-worried team in front of them. They cleared their throat, and began to speak, but was interrupted by their voice squeaking embarrassingly. Their face burned red and they tried again.</p>
<p>"I-I'm sorry, this is- it's scary." They said, turning their still blushing face towards Tsukishima's sleeve in an attempt to hide the red tint. </p>
<p>"Is something wrong, Yamaguchi?" Daichi asked. Yamaguchi looked back up to see the concerned gazes of their friends. Right. Their <em>friends</em>. These people were their friends. They were safe with them. They took a deep breath, trying to steady their shaking hands. They shot a look at Takeda, who gave them a reassuring smile and a thumbs up. Biting their lip, they turned back to their team. </p>
<p>"I-I wanted to tell you guys something. I didn't mean to worry you, it's not something bad, I promise." They began. They held their breath, surveying the gazes of their friends. "I-I don't really know how to say this, s-so I guess I'll just be straight up with you. I...I'm not a boy!" They scrunched their eyes closed, prepping for an assault of insults. They were met with silence, and after a moment, they slowly opened one of their eyes. Some of them looked relieved, others looked confused. </p>
<p>"You really had me worried there for a moment." Sugawara sighed, "Is it alright if I ask for your pronouns then?" </p>
<p>"Th-they and them, thank you..." Yamaguchi replied, still in shock that they weren't being kicked out. "I-I'm not a girl either, I just... Yeah..."</p>
<p>"I have a question!" Nishinoya exclaimed, his hand shooting into the air. </p>
<p>"Y-yes?"</p>
<p>"So is it, like, smooth down there? Like a Ken doll?" Nishinoya asked shamelessly. Ennoshita smacked him on the back of his head, eliciting a yelp from the shorter boy.</p>
<p>"You can't just ask something like that. Have some tact." Ennoshita sighed. Yamaguchi's face burned at the invasive question. </p>
<p>"Anyway, Yamaguchi, I'm really proud of you for having the courage to tell us this. And I'm very happy you trust us with this." Daichi smiled. Yamaguchi felt tears begin to well up in their eyes. </p>
<p>"U-um, excuse me?" Yachi asked in a small voice, "I was wondering if you used a different name? I-I know that some people prefer to do that..." </p>
<p>"No, I don't, thank you for asking though." Suddenly the room was filled with the sobs of none other than Hinata Shoyou, shocking everyone and drawing their attention to him.</p>
<p>"H-Hinata? Is everything okay?" Yamaguchi asked. Hinata shot to his feet, charging forward to hug the pinch server.</p>
<p>"Please don't quit playing with us!" Hinata choked out. "I'm sure you can stay on the boy's team even if you're not a boy!" As Yamaguchi listened, giggles began to bubble up in their chest. Soon they were full on laughing as tears streamed down their face.</p>
<p>"I'm not quitting the team, I promise! Thank you all so much, I wasn't expecting you guys to be so kind about this!" </p>
<p>"Hell, yeah, dude! And if anyone gives you trouble, I'll beat them up for you, like a good senpai! Wait- am I still able to call you dude? I could call you something else! Like, uh, babe! Or, no, wait, what about pal? Yeah, pal!" Tanaka exclaimed. </p>
<p>"Honestly, we were all just kind of waiting for the day you told us. Tsukishima isn't exactly <em>subtle</em>." Suga chuckled. The blond in question rolled his eyes in response.</p>
<p>"Thank you for telling us, Yamaguchi, but if that's all, let's get started, shall we?" Ukai clapped his hands, spurring everyone into action. Yamaguchi watched as their friends ran about to get set up, a warm feeling growing in their heart, a smile growing across their face.</p>
<p>"Hey, Yamaguchi, are you gonna help, or you gonna just stand there? Let's go!" Tanaka exclaimed. </p>
<p>"Yeah!" Yamaguchi smiled, their shoulders feeling lighter than they had in a long time. They ran to go help with the net, that feeling not going away. They weren't alone anymore. They had their beautiful boyfriend, their teacher and coach, their senpais, their classmates, their <em>friends</em>. </p>
<p>Like this, they knew they'd be able to get through anything.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Nishinoya afterwards: <br/>No one ever answered my question....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyways, thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it! Kudos, comments, and shares are all appreciated! ^v^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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